The End of an Era

Way back in 2013, we met with an ABA therapist. Today was her last day. And not because she is moving on, but instead, because Andrew is moving on.

You see, Andrew has made so much progress that our service provider has determined he no longer needs in-home services.

Andrew is now enrolled in a private Christian school that has an autism program. It's run by a board certified behavior analyst (BCBA). And Andrew has been THRIVING since we moved him there.

It feels a little scary in the sense that no more therapists will be coming to our house to have sessions with Andrew. But over the past few weeks, we the parents have received some intense training of our own. But not as scary as I might have expected had you asked me five years ago.

We have been given tools to help shape Andrew's behavior. My favorite has been, "let's try that again." It's a form of redirection. When improper behavior occurs, you don't just say, "don't do that!" Instead, you need to redirect the child to what's appropriate. With these tools, I feel armed to move forward.

But I'm getting off track. The point is, as parents, we have learned so much over the past five years about how Andrew views the world. And with these extra tools, we are now in the driver's seat to help him grow up and become all that he can be.

It is hard to say goodbye to someone that has been such an integral part of our family. Someone that has helped Andrew transform from a non-verbal toddler to a part of a community of friends and family. Into a boy that giggled last night on the drive home after his school's Christmas program, telling us how much fun he had. Into a boy that will spontaneously go up to strangers in the waiting room at the doctor's office and become their friend.

Indeed, an end of a era. But also the beginning of a new and exciting one.

Long time, no see!

It's been a long time since I contributed to this blog.  Sorry!  It's not for lack of things to share I promise.  It's for lack of time.  What mother of preschoolers doesn't run low on time these days?  We welcomed a new member to our family in December, Aiden.  We also weathered a season of postpartum depression which God was so faithful to bring us all through.  And when things were finally starting to calm down, our daughter, Audrey, was diagnosed with ADHD.  So, between Andrew's therapies, Audrey's therapies, and Aiden's needs as an infant, life has been crazy.  But I know that many, many other moms could say the same thing!

But I was watching Andrew this morning and thinking about where he has come from in just a year.  One year...it seems so short in light of the amazing amount of progress he has made.  His language has exploded!  He is requesting things, now able to tell us what he wants and needs.  He makes conversation and is developing his manners.  He knows his colors and numbers and is even learning to read!  He is blowing through his therapists' lesson plans so fast that they can't keep up.  He just had his one year evaluation with Occupational Therapy.  He is 42 months old right now and scored at a 52 month level!  He scored far ahead on his Speech Therapy evaluation too.  We'll be able to cut back on the amount of therapy he needs in those areas.  We are just so thrilled with the leaps and bounds he is making.  He is a completely different kid than he was a year ago i those respects.  But he is still the same loveable, huggable, sweet Andrew.  That, I hope, will never change.

And we have been blown away by God's faithfulness through it all.  There have certainly been times when he has regressed a little bit or plateaued and we got discouraged.  But if there's one thing that God has proven to us, it's that He knows the plans He has for Andrew....plans to give him a hope and a future...all we need to do is trust Him with our little one.

Times they are a changing

It's now been a week since our newest family member was born, Aiden. He is a big fellow weighing 9 lb. 12 oz. Suffice it to say, Andrew can sense a lot of new changes. While he actually seems indifferent to Aiden's presence, it seems like playing with Audrey and sometimes on his own can upset him more than it used to.

Our ABA therapist explained that Sara being in the hospital for four days as well as having to go in Saturday night for Aiden to receive some photo therapy to treat his slight case of Jaundice is definitely something Andrew observed.

I have felt like there has been no progress. When I expressed my concern with his ABA therapist, she pointed out how in the beginning, Andrew would get upset over her taking a toy. Today, he typically will ask for the toy back and think nothing of it. We have in fact made huge progress. Andrew speaks in full sentences, being able to say, "I want crackers" or "I want to watch DVD". It's fantastic.

It's easy to get hung up on negatives. We asked her what we should do when Andrew has a fit and starts throwing toys. We need to verbally remind him to not do that. We do the arm squeezing to help him calm down. And then we can ask him to fetch what he threw and bring it back. All different types of redirection. It feels tempting to put him in timeout like we would with Audrey, but I knew that was not the right course of action for Andrew.

She explained that as he progresses, there will be many steps forward as well as occasional regressions. A sort of rubber band type thing. But the progress forward has been terrific.

In fact, I was impressed how he and Audrey played last night with his new train set. Afterwards, Andrew took it all apart and put it away in it's box.

Sibling Rivalry

It's been a while since we posted.  Andrew continues to do well and we get wonderful feedback from his therapists about his progress.  We are seeing more spontaneous language and even singing songs spontaneously!  His favorite songs are "The Clean Up Song", "Itsy Bitsy Spider", and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star".  He loves to sing and do any hand motions we can come up with.  SUCH an improvement over where we were a few short weeks ago.

Even now as I type, he is with his Behavioral Therapist (ABA).  They are doing an animal puzzle and she is asking him to name the animal and make its sound. This is something he couldn't have done two weeks ago, but now does with no trouble.  Truly, he is responding well to therapy and it is such a blessing to this momma's heart.

One of the big things his ABA Therapist has started working on is his interactions with his sister, Audrey.  She is a MAJOR trigger for him.  The therapist has worked with him in the past through a situation where she (the therapist) will take a toy that he wants.  She helps him through his fit to calm down and then ask for the toy.  He has done well adjusting to that.  But when Audrey takes a toy he wants, it is an explosion of tears and fussiness.  It takes a lot of work to calm him down and get him to request the toy from Audrey.  (Never-mind that she doesn't understand that she needs to hand it over when he asks "please".)

Though this season of therapy is hard for me (I hate hearing my baby boy cry so and despise seeing my children at odds during therapy), it has started to change their sibling relationship.  They are interacting more even outside of therapy and Audrey will actually acknowledge Andrew's existence to her own Speech Therapist.  (Before whenever asked about Andrew/brother, she would simply say "no".)

So, all in all, things are going well.  God continues to be faithful during this season to guide us and give us that extra measure of patience and wisdom with our children.  He is so good!

Looking For Progress

I've been thinking a lot today about progress.  I know that progress with Andrew will be slower than I would like.  But when I think about Andrew when we started and Andrew now, I can begin to celebrate the progress that he has made.

Andrew pays more attention to us, to our faces and our expressions...this is sooo important for a child with autism as this is how "normal" children learn how to react to and interact with others.  Andrew is repeating more and his speech is much clearer.  There are moments when he will speak spontaneously and those instances are becoming more frequent.  He still gets frustrated and overwhelmed and throws fits (what toddler doesn't?), but we are better equipped to calm him down now that we know to gently squeeze on his arms.  He is more consistent in requesting "more please" (most regarding his sippy cup, but even that is a victory).

We've started working with pictures.  Putting pictures on the fridge so that he can bring us the picture or point to the picture of what he wants.  He is not catching on to this as quickly.

Overall, his therapists are pleased with how receptive he is, how easy he is to work with, and how quickly he picks things up.

We've had some isolated incidences (which I doubted I would ever see), where he and his sister are playing together.  This warms my momma's heart greatly.

As we get in the swing of therapy and our now hectic schedule, we are grieving the loss of the life we used to lead.  It was still hectic with two young ones and one on the way, but it was relaxed and laid back compared to what life is like now.  Greg and I are also beginning to grasp the basics of therapy and are attempting to be more intentional with Andrew's off-therapy play time about incorporating some of the things his therapists do to engage and teach him.

So, in all of this, I've been easily overwhelmed, sometimes discouraged, and quick to tire (the progressing pregnancy probably plays a big role in that).  But God is SO faithful to find ways to encourage me in the midst of the craziness.  Just today, he brought me to a verse:  Galatians 6:9 which says "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary".

As I read that, God impressed upon me that this applies to our challenges with Andrew, and with Audrey for that matter.  As a mom, my life is focused on my children with limited interaction with others it the outside world.  So, I know my kids are my calling, my mission field.  This promise is for me in our day-to-day struggles.  I am sowing seeds that are often watered by my tears (of frustration and joy).  I am cultivating these two precious lives and souls.  So, be it Andrew's therapy or Audrey pushing my buttons, I must not lose heart in doing what I am called to do.  If I continue to tend to these small sprouts, as I believe God and take Him at His word, I know I will reap as I have sown.

Discovering new things and learning to adapt

Between yesterday and today, we have made several observations, both on our own, and from Andrew's ABA therapist.

We started to spot that Andrew was uninterested in drinking from his dark blue sippy cup. It could very well be because he either can't see what's in there, or he has come to associate that cup with having water, like his blue Thomas straw cup.

When we shifted to putting his milk into his lighter, yellow cup, he immediately wanted to drink from that. We will have to test that by putting some Pediasure in one later today and seeing how that goes.

Andrew's ABA therapist observed something else today: when he gets upset, she started squeezing on his hands and arms and it allowed him to calm down much quicker. She went on to test that response several times, and it appears to be a means to soothe him. Next step will be to continue testing it, and if it turns out to work, teach him to squeeze his own hands as a self soothing activity. She said this can be tied to some of his own sensitivity issues and finding a means to contain this will be very helpful as he matures. She said that there is a whole market of body socks, compression vests, and other things like that which are designed to help highly sensitive children calm down. We'll have to think about that if this approach isn't enough.

Another behavior to work on is pairing. This is when we ask him to take a sip of Pediasure in order to get a yummy goldfish cracker. We'll experiment with that as well, although the cup issue might be solved in a different way.

All in all, this is the type of exploration that we are undergoing as his various therapists get to know him better and can fine tune things for him.

Busy day!

Tired Andrew after a full day

This morning, Andrew had a 2-hour session with Kathyrn, his ABA therapist. On the surface, it looks like they are just playing. But when you learn a little bit, you can see that Kathryn is engaging him in what Andrew wants to do, but she steers him into new angles, new ideas, and new types of spontaneous behavior. Towards the end, he was playing an interactive game on her iPad. He wasn't quite getting the concept of drag-and-drop, but I'm sure he'll get it soon enough.

Sara had "the day off". She had been pulling double duty last week while I attended my company technical conference in California. She earned a day at the spa. This made for fun time management. Pay it no mind that I still got a lot of work done!

Later today, Andrew had his first speech therapy session followed by occupational therapy. When his speech therapist came out to give me her report, Andrew was upset. It appeared like he didn't want to stop playing. It was a bit of a blur. He developed an initial rapport with his speech therapist and was introduced to several new sensational things with his occupational therapist. I have more to learn about this stuff.

He didn't get home and able to nap until around 3:00pm. Suffice it say, he was cranky by then, and fought me carrying him to his crib, but it didn't take long before he was out.

Here is what is so amazing. He is getting all types of help, but doesn't even know it. To him, it's all play. At dinner time, he was running around, and when we would say certain words, Andrew repeated one of them while pointing his index finger at his mouth. We quickly deduced that this was the gesture his speech therapist used. It is clear that all these things are sinking in and giving him what he needs.

In all this hub bub, there is something I never realized until Sara and I chatted with a member of our Sunday school class who happens to be an ABA therapist. Andrew might very well come out ahead of his peers. I was praying that he would keep his head above water and "catch up". I never realized this might be possible.